Long, Long Way From Home
by CSI1983
Summary: Upon Grissom's return, how do they continue? GSR


Long, Long Way From Home

He was coming home today. In exactly two hours, forty-five minutes and twenty four seconds, he will be back in her city, in her breathing space and in her life again. She didn't know exactly how to feel, had somehow managed to cauterize her wound when he left, had learnt to function without him there by her side. Her imagination often ran away with her and she wondered what would happen to them when he returned. The fates toyed with her yet again when there was a triple homicide and she was chosen to be the person to pick Grissom up from the airport. Catherine was worried about him being too tired to drive and thought it would be safer if he was picked up. And because their relationship remained their own little secret, Sara could do nothing more then shrug when Catherine had made the request. The last time she had felt this nervous and scared she had been walking into one of his seminars.

Sara sipped at her soda idly, more out of a need to do something with her hands then to do with thirst. She felt incredibly restless but didn't want to pace the way she would if she was at work and she had bitten her nails almost to the quick. But the worse sensation by far was the one that had domininated her thoughts from the first day he was gone. What would happen between them? The fledgling romance in their relationship was still a little too new to really know what damage this trip had done. Then there was the distinct feeling that Sara could not quite shake that maybe, just maybe, Grissom took this trip to get some space between them. Sara knew that she could be pretty full on sometimes but she liked to think that Grissom wasn't scared of that. But maybe she was wrong.

Before she could convince herself of anything positive, she saw him walking towards her, even though he had not spotted her yet, he was too distracted by something, his suitcase bumping along on it's slightly uneven wheels. He looked so relaxed that she wondered if he was the same guy that left the office four long weeks ago. He had lost weight, that much was more then obvious in his jeans that now clung to his thighs and hips. He wore a plain white t-shit that showed off arms that were slightly more sculpted then they were before he had left. He had changed so much already and he yet to even open his mouth. He finally snapped out of his thoughts and spotted her. He paused for a moment before continuing forward, a smile on his face.

"Hey, I really missed you."

He made a move to hug her but faltered, placing a hand on her shoulder instead. It was worse then any brush off Sara had ever had.

"I missed you too. Have you eaten?"

"Just the plane food, which I might use in my lectures sometime. How could people possibly digest that stuff?"

Sara couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her, it had been too long since she had smiled or laughed.

"Ok, then let's get some proper food. What do you feel like?"

"Burgers and fries from Brucies."

Sara nodded and lead the way to the truck, her head down. She had controlled herself so far but had no idea how much longer she could cope. She wanted to hug him, to kiss him and to tell him exactly how things had been while he was away. But for now she had to keep her distance. She was determined that this time it would be Grissom making the moves, not her. The drive to Brucies was silent and strained and she was almost relieved when they made it to the burger joints bright neon lighted parking area. They found themselves a booth fast enough and ordered their food and drinks.

"So how have you been?"

The question sounded silly coming from him, he knew how she was. She had written him letters and made phone calls while he was away, had explained everything she felt about his sudden departure and yet somehow he still questioned it.

"I'm fine Grissom."

"Good."

"And you? Are you good?"

"Better now. It was good but it didn't have you."

Sara smiled slightly and could feel the ice barricade that she had made around herself begin to thaw slightly.

"Can I ask you something?"

Sara nodded and stopped playing with the straw that stabbed the center of her soda.

"Do you love me?"

"Grissom I hardly think – "

"I need to know Sara. Because I had time to think and I know exactly how I feel and I want to know what you think."

"Honestly Grissom, I don't know if I love you. I haven't loved anyone in a really long time and it's hard for me to recognize the feeling. But I know that I really like you and I missed you more then I would ever admit. I'm sorry if that's not what you were expecting to hear."

Grissom dropped his eyes from hers to the large cheeseburger and fries in front of him and Sara did the same, eating despite the ball that had somehow made it's way into her throat. She had hurt him and it killed her. They ate in cold silence for a little while longer before Sara blurted out a question that she could no longer contain.

"Do you love me?"

Grissom, despite being blind sided by the question, for his credit didn't choke on his mouthful of burger but calmly finished chewing, his eyes on hers again.

"Yes. It took a long time Sara but I finally got there. But I'm going to wait for you, I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere without you."

"Ok"

The second it left her lips, the response seemed stupid and childish. He just promised to wait for her to feel what he did and all she could say was ok! Grissom smiled softly at her before digging back into his burger. They stayed for another thirty minutes before they mad their way back to the truck, Grissom pulling Sara to a stop before she could hop in.

"You still owe me a hug."

Sara sunk into his embrace gratefully, his clean soapy smell filling her senses. She didn't realize just how much she missed that lovely clean scent. She had also forgotten just how good it felt to be in those arms and against his strong, solid body.

"God I missed this."

His voice was a low rumble in her ear and she nodded her head slightly against his chest.

"Me too. Do you want to stay over tonight?"

"Are you trying seduce me Miss Sidle?"

"Why yes I am Mr. Grissom. Is it working?"

"A little to well. However there is one more thing that I have to do."

He pushed her away from him slightly and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was rough and hungry and Sara could feel her resolve to keep him at an arms length melt completely. He broke the kiss, pushing loose strands of hair from her flushed face.

"I missed doing that."

"So have I. Can I ask one last question before we go home?"

"Make it quick. I don't think I can control myself for much longer."

"Why did you leave without a proper goodbye? You didn't even hug me."

Grissom took her hand in his and ran his fingers over her knuckles.

"Because if I touched you, I would not be able to leave. I have trouble maintaining control when you're close to me."

Sara cocked her head as she studied him.

"That's it? You weren't doing it to brush me off?"

"No. I've come too far to do that. Can we go home now? I want to have a hot shower and hop into bed with the most beautiful woman in the world."

Sara smiled at him as she fished the car keys from her pocket.

"I don't think she's available but I'm happy to keep you company."

Grissom shrugged, a small frown tugging at his mouth.

"I suppose you'll do. But don't tell my girlfriend, ok? She's got a bit of a temper on her."

"Oh really? She sounds vicious."

"But I love her anyway. I couldn't live without her."

Sara smiled at him and he slipped a hand over her knee, his eyes straight ahead. She knew that there was no way that she could force herself to love him but she knew that she would get there one day. She just needed Grissom to understand that it was never easy for her to love another person; she had always been that way. But then again, Grissom was different. He could see things in her that she had never shown any other person, things that she had consciously kept hidden. Grissom took it in his stride and accepted it as part of who she was and didn't love her any less for it.

"Hey Gil?"

"Hmm?"

"I really like you."

Grissom gave her a smile and his hand gave her knee a quick squeeze.

"I really like you too."


End file.
